did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
