I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??