i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.