you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
the sex got boring after the first three hours