it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
we should paint friendship bongs
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
