I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
