On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
