This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
