I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
We had to coat check the pizza.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize