You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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