respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
