All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
