I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Panties = found
Randomize
