We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
