I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
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