I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Are my feet made of real feet?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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