i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
