her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
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Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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