Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
