I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize