More tranny stories later!
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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