I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I have aggressive nipples.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Randomize
