After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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