you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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