Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
