you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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