you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
