BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
