do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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