East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
