I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize