no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
