i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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