What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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