i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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