i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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