You really coming over, don't trick.
another moral hangover. fuck.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
