I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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