Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
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