I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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