I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
