I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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