Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize