Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
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who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize