He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
