You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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