my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize