just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
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