So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Oh god it's open bar.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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