I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
