grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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