Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
