And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
