They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
