Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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