If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
the day after is always just damage control
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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